My Kitty Died Today

The kitty I've had since I was about 6, I think.  Her name is Licorice.  I named her that because when I got her she was all black with one or two little brown hairs.  As she got older she changed colors; she is a tortishell cat.  She was the sweetest cat ever.  She would just lay under the covers with you and hug when it was cold.

I'm at school and she is at home.  But I am glad I am here.  But I feel bad for that.  I'm glad that I didn't have to take her to the veterinarian and hear the bad news, and cry at the office.  I'm glad that I didn't have to see her sick.  I'm glad I didn't have to see them stick her with needles and IVs.  I feel like I missed something that would have been really sad.  But I also miss the hugs and the family support I would have gotten if I were home.


Maybe this is a bit dramatic, but I feel it so, I feel like I'm losing a little bit of my childhood.  I got Licorice when I was just little, and I'm not little anymore.


My Mother set up a Find A Grave page for her.  I thought it was a little weird, but after I looked at it, I'm really happy it's there.


I think I'm probably in the fourth stage of grief, depression.  I'm tired. I want to sleep, but I'm not sleepy.  I want to eat, but I can't think of anything to eat.  I just want to sit on the couch and watch a sad movie, but I can't right now, for a couple of reasons.


One of them is I have to do some research for a Literature Review paper.  I can't find stuff.  I might have to change my topic.  I'm upset about that.


But my kitty died.  Shouldn't everything stop?  Just give me time to sort out my feelings.


Don't tell me that I should or shouldn't feel a certain way.  I don't want to be distracted from my emotions.  That can't be healthy.  I want to feel everything and then release them.  If I held everything in now, and let it build up and harass me, then in 2 weeks or 2 months or 2 years, I let them out, no one would understand and it would be harder to let out.  That's why you have emotions.  To feel them.  To express them.  And to let them out.


Seventeen years ago today, my Aunt and two Cousins and Uncle died.  So Feb. 19th is a weird feeling day anyways.


I'm going to sit here.  In peace.  Knowing it is okay to cry.


This is one time I'm not going to blame my emotions on my period either.  I already really don't like it when I do that, so I might just stop doing that altogether.


The next step is acceptance.  I look forward to that, but I'm okay sitting here now.


"The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:17-18

Pet Peeve #3

People who say "enjoy the spring weather" in February.


It's February.  It's still winter.


Just because you feel the need to walk around in flip-flops and not wear a coat does not mean it spring.


The fact that it is 60.5 degrees out does not make it spring.


If it were Spring, everyone would be giving away free kittens.  There would be beautiful pink and purple flowers everywhere.  The air would smell of hotdogs and be laced with allergens.  There would be bird poo on the sidewalk where snow was shoveled only weeks earlier.  And we would be anticipating finals week.


But no, sadly, it is still winter.  This is a trick.  Don't get your hopes up.  It will be 33 degrees again soon enough.  And for goodness sake, put your coat in the car and carry it around with you.  Obviously the weather is unpredictable.


"While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease." Genesis 8:22

Music Notes

I need some new worship music to play.


I'm tired of the same songs I've been playing since I started playing worship music.


But I haven't heard stuff I like lately.  


I don't like there to be too many words; I want to be able to sing the song in the shower and remember all the words, or be able to close my eyes and sing along.  


Also, there is a difference between not having a song be really predictable in where the music and words are going and being way out there and having to read sheet music to follow the melody.


I like to play music that sounds okay playing by myself, a lone keyboardist.  Not that I don't like playing with others, I just don't right now, no time, and no people around here to play with me.  But music that sounds okay by myself usually ends up being the slower stuff, but that's cool with me.


Maybe I'll have to get serious and sit down and try to write something.


On a side note, I usually take my watch off to type on the computer.  And as I was typing this I was looking at my watch and noticed there was crud on the wrist band.  Crud.  Crud in the grooves of my plastic wrist band.  Yuck.  Luckily I'd been saving an alcohol wipe, and I got the crud off.


"Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord." Ephesians 5:19

It's Valentine's Day

I've heard it called "Love Day," "Single Awareness Day," "Sell More Hallmark Cards Day."


I don't think it is just another day, or I wouldn't be blogging about it.  It is an American tradition.


This is my second Valentine's day in years that I'm not distracted from Valentine's day/my singleness by babysitting.  From the time that I cared that I was single on Valentine's day until now, I babysat.  Well tonight, KWoww and Kat are going to Olive Garden to celebrate.


Really, I am a perfectly content (for now) single women, who doesn't mind going out to eat with her girlfriends on Valentine's day.  Actually I wouldn't mind just sitting at home and doing homework.


I'd like to give a shout out to my clinical instructor, who in her wisdom, gave me and Kat the same day off clinical, today.  (Because of going to the Infusion center during the week for clinical, we got to get a day off going on a Monday night.)


"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away." I Corinthians 13:4-8

DNP, Has A Nice Ring To It

The other day at the Virginia Nursing Student Association convention I heard something very interesting.  The Keynote speaker was a DNP, a Doctor of Nursing Practice.


She was funny and fun, throwing candy out into the sea of half awake half asleep nursing students.  She showed pictures of her family and introduced us to her theory of nursing.  Then she told a story that I have been thinking about for a week now.


She spoke of her work at the medical practice she works at, where doctors and nurse practitioners work together in the same office.  She told of a conversation she had with a doctor there.  He asked her:


"Why do you insist on having people call you a doctor when you are a nurse? I'm a doctor."


"Because 'doctor' refers to how long you have been to school and your level of education, not your vocation.  You should call yourself a physician."


I'm not sure why this impressed me so much, but it did.  I'm glad she had an answer so quickly.  I think I really have to get my post-graduate degree now.


"When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." Mark 2:17

Two Firsts

I went to my first nursing convention this weekend.  The Virginia Nursing Student Association convention in Lynchburg, VA at Liberty University.


I, the President of my school's Student Nurses Association, my Treasurer, and my Liaison for the satellite campus went to convention.


It wasn't what I expected, but it was good and I would definitely go back.


I expected a pep-talk (the opening ceremony was a pep-talk) or a this-is-why-you-should-go-into-this-field-of-nursing talk, but it was more of a information about different fields.  I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to tell my classmates about it, other than I had a good time and enjoyed it.  I hope they ask me questions because I will answer them.  Maybe I'll blog about the different break out sessions later.

There were also recruiters there for different hospital systems in Virginia.  I didn't recognize any of them though, they seemed to be more in the southern Virginia area.


It was really cool to see all the other students and get to talk to them a bit.  I'm guessing there were > 400 nursing students there.  I hope they post how many students did show up.


We left a little early because it was a long day and we were tired.  And I got a speeding ticket on the way home.  Ugh.  Big dislike.  It was on a part of the highway that is under construction and the speed limit went from 60 to 45, and he said I was going 63, although I thought I was going 59 (you're thinking, "Katie, that's still speeding."  I know, just saying.)  He walked up to my car and touched my community college parking sticker that is expired from last summer and then came up and talked to me.


He asked, "do you know why I pulled you over."


"Yes, I think I do."


"Why were you speeding?"


"'Cause I was talking."


"Where are you going?"


"Home, after leaving a NURSING convention." I thought it would help if I told him we were nurses.  It didn't.


"Drivers licence and registration please."


I give him my paperwork and he gives me a ticket, my first ticket.


He took off that I was speeding in a construction zone because there was no one working on a Saturday.  Thanks.


Twas a long day.  But other than the ticket I would do it all over again.


"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." Hebrews 10:25

Pet Peeve #2

Taking out the trash.


I really, really, really dislike taking out the trash.


It's not fun.


It's dirty.


And it's cold outside.


KWoww, as I am now referring to her, doesn't like to take the trash out either.


We need a guy to come over about QOD and take it out for us.


"Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ." Philippians 3:8