16 Day Until The End Of The Semester!

So I didn't have class today, I don't have class on Wednesdays. =P

Anyway, it's almost the end of the semester and I don't know what to do with my time.  I slept in late, took a shower, then got on the computer to do homework.  But I don't have a paper to write, no case studies to sweat over, and can't work on my last careplan until after clinical tomorrow.  So here I am, all dress up to study, and don't know what to do.  I do have a group presentation next week, but I finished my part already.

I wrote in my planner.  I figured out what I could get on two of my finals to make sure I get A's in those classes - something I don't usually do, but I did it because I was bored and curious.  Then I realized that here are podcast lectures to listen to.

Podcast lectures.  One of them is an hour and a half long, and at this time there is half an hour left.  Then for another class there are five lectures all in decreasing lengths starting at 15 minutes.  I am not a fan of podcast lectures, but it's mostly because I almost forgot about them and because my internet is really slow and they took forever to download.  And why can't the teacher go do a lecture on Candidiasis in the classroom in 5 minutes 6 seconds, but can do it on a podcast?

I have a Pediatric ATI test next Monday, a presentation in Leadership Tuesday, and a Final in Palliative Care on Tuesday.

Then finals week.  We are getting them all out of the way on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, but then I have to take CPR on Thursday.  Then it Christmas break all the way!!!

164 days to graduation!  Holla!

By the way, this was a request for prayer blog post.

"Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15

Introspection

I wish I knew what I was thinking so I could share it.  But I just don't know what I think.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9

For Real Now

"Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin." James 4:17

"Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season." Hebrews 11:25

"For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23

"Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us." Galatians 3:13

There Was This One Time

I have to write a journal for my class about an incident that happened while I was in clinical.

The other day I was thinking about having to do this journal and had a bunch of stories.  But now that I am sitting down to do it, I can't think of any good ones.

Well, I can think of stories, but then I have to identify a leadership concept and say how I would handle this situation differently next time.

I thought about writing about one of the first times I ever had a clinical.  We were in the hospital and my patient was getting physical therapy.  The physical therapist and her assistant came in the room and got gloves.  Except one of them dropped their gloves on the floor and picked the gloves up and put them on, and did the PT with the patient.  I was horrified.  The floor is dirty and nasty.  Nothing that touches the floor should ever be used to help a patient.  I didn't know what to say to the physical therapist.  So I just stood there, mouth gaping open.  Now if I saw someone drop gloves on the floor, I would say, "hey let me have those dirty gloves, and I'll get you a new pair."  In a nice voice.  This is a patient safety issue by the way.

But I've already told that story a bunch of times.  So I don't want to write about that.

So I have to think up another story.  I must have many, because I come home from clinical and think about how incompetent people are, or I think "when I'm a nurse I'm not going to...".  So here's to brainstorming.

"Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive the blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of his salvation." Psalm 24:3-5

What Happens At The End?

What is quality of life?

I'm doing my careplan on my patient this week, listening to sad music, and wondering what I would want if I was 100 years old and had a stoke, and innumerable other problems.

Would I want to be kept alive when I don't know what is going on around me?  What if I can't eat or drink?  If I'm forced to wear a brief?  Or if someone has to come in a turn me over every 2 hours because I can't even move to get in a more comfortable position?

Sometimes I wonder about quality vs. quantity.  The more I'm in the hospital for clinicals, the more I think about it.

I'm not afraid of dying, because I know I would be with Jesus, but I'm afraid of getting old and being unable to care for myself.  I like to care for people, not have to depend on others to do basic things for my hygiene needs.

I'm not depressed, just thinking about getting old scares me.

Maybe it's time for me to do my Five Wishes.

"For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death." Psalm 48:14

Intimacy Versus Isolation

Earlier this week I was upset because I realized that on my next birthday I'm going to be 23 years old.  23.  That number just sounds old, doesn't it?  What have I done in these 22.75 years of my life?  Okay, I've done lots of cool stuff, but still.

Then I was thinking about how I don't feel like an adult.  And that by 23 I thought I'd have life figured out.  But no.  The more I know, the more I know I don't know.

Which brings me to my next point.  Apparently I am not a teenager.  I don't think that I know everything anymore.

I seem to have more questions than I have answers.  Philosophical questions.  Relationship questions.  Nursing questions.  Religious questions.  Just questions.  I guess I should be asking God (the maker of the universe) the questions instead of mulling them over in the head and going crazy on the inside.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" Matthew 7:7

"Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls." Jeremiah 6:16

"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good: and what does the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with they God?" Micah 6:8