Plane Pangs

I went to Peru in 2008 for a missions trip.  We started in the capital of Peru, Lima.  We stayed there for about a week, then flew to Cusco, Peru for the second week.


If I remember correctly, the flight from Lima to Cusco was lacking in excitement, except for the fact that I had diarrhea.


As you learn quickly on a oversees missions trip, or any trip where digestive health is very important, everyone's bowel movements are up for discussion, whether that be the Big C or the Big D.  One girl was slightly embarrassed because she fessed up that she hadn't gone poo in a couple of days and we all laid hands on her and prayed for the Spirit to move - her bowels.


Anyway, in the airport going to Cusco, I had diarrhea.  I made to through security without too much trouble, PTL.  Now, waiting at the gate for the airplane to show up was a different story.  I think I went back and forth from my seat to the bathroom running like 6 times in an hour.


Finally, they started to board the airplane, and I had to run to the bathroom again, leaving all my stuff with the team (read, my tall guy friend).  I figured I had time to get this last bout of diarrhea out before the plane took off.  But no.


The entire plane must have boarded in less than 5 minutes, and was about to take off.  This is no American airline where you sit on the tarmac for at least 30 minutes before even taxiing out.  Unbeknownst to me the plane was about to close its door to passengers while I was in the bathroom.  And my guy friend has my purse in which my passport is enclosed.


Guy Friend to the Flight Attendant: She's in the bathroom, she will be right here!!!
Flight Attendant: She will just have to catch the next fight.
Guy Friend: She has diarrhea!


Insert British lady here.  She over hears this whole situation and runs too the bathroom to get me.


British lady: Katie!!
Me: *why does everyone have to be named Katie? Can't I just poo in peace?*
British lady: Katie, Katie!!
Me: *I don't know any British people*
British lady: Katie!
Me: Yes?
British lady: Your plane is all boarded, and your boyfriend or your husband is freaking out!
Me: OMG!!! *Wipe, sort of*


I didn't wash my hands.  They let me on the plane, thank God.  Off to Cusco.  I didn't have diarrhea on the plane for some reason, probably terror of being left sans passport and any command of the Spanish language in a Peruvian airport.


A shout out to the British lady who saved the day.  If you ever read this and recognize the story, email me.  And I apologize if you are Australian or South African, I haven't yet perfect my knowledge of accents.


You know what the team said when I sat down on the plane?  Glad you made it.


"Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ." Philippians 3:8